Friday, January 21, 2011

Feels like home

I wish that I could express the amount of emotions I've been feeling lately. But I'm not sure that I can. I hesitated to write about this experience I had last week, but since it's been a week and I'm still thinking about it, I guess I'll write about it.
My boys and I have one major outing a week which consists of a little shopping, lunch out somewhere they love (typically the Target cafe...I know right?), followed by Sawyer's physical therapy in one town, and Ruger's speech therapy in another town. At first I dreaded these days, oh I hated every minute of it and complained via text to my mother the whole stinkin' day. But then something happened last week, it was such a little thing, but it was magnificent.
Ruger and I were playing in the ball pit while Sawyer was working hard in the other room and a girl about 7 came running in. She ran up to Ruger and said, "You wanna play with me?" He jumped at the chance and suddenly they were swinging from the rings in the ceiling and flying into the ball pit. They had conversation and they laughed and the best part is, they didn't care about each other's issues. They both have them, it's apparent (if only everyone's issues were physical for the world to see?) but no one cared. She didn't ask about his hearing aids and he didn't ask about her.
As I watched them I was caught off guard by the feeling I was having...I was homesick...for the hospital. What? Seriously? Isn't that strange? I had so many feelings come back and memories of children I would play with and watch late night movies with and no one cared about the other's issues. These hospitals for children bring such a comfort to their patients and for some reason, these obstacles that we deal with every day in the real world don't matter inside those walls. There's no pitty, no teasing, no pointing or laughing, we just are who we are.
So the longer I thought about this the more I remembered how much of my time I spent in those walls thinking about how I could some day come back and be a part of that world again. I had no idea that I would being going back there for my children though.

As we prepare for our first extravaganza to Shriners this summer for Sawyer's surgery, I will enter that world/home again, where I spent so much of my childhood. I will see familiar faces and feel those pains he has all over again and I will have complete comfort in knowing that he's getting the best care possible. Don't get me wrong I'm scared out of my mind! But maybe just the comfort of those walls will help us all make it through the summer a little easier.
I've been reading this blog and this blog a lot lately about words and dreams and while it's difficult to look in the future right now with all that lies ahead for us and think of those things, I think for now I'll just settle on seeing all the dreams and blessings that have unfolded infront of me...right now. I can't believe the support I've received through my shops and orders lately...but thank you so much! You're all helping to support this little family of mine and I am so grateful for that! You're making my dreams come true and all of your sweet emails with questions about the boys or thank you's for your orders really make my day! Please know that! I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! I'll be here setting goals, making dreams, finding words, and trying not to forget all thats been given to me thus far!

And if you're feeling lucky, Camille is hosting a fantastic giveaway over on her's a good one!


Caden and Mommy said...

Great Post Tiffany! I get it ... When we go to Seattle Childrens it's marvelous. I don't feel like I have to be on guard, ready to explain :0) Everyone accepts everyone!
Sorry, I'm out of the loop. What surgery is Sawyer having this summer?
I LOVE the quilts on the boys beds. So adorable!

Tiffany said...

Oh sorry...he's having his legs straightened. I mean to say that. Lol! :)

Camille said...

Such a great post, I love when you share real life stuff. Really, you are amazing. You have such a bright future ahead of you!

Keep it up, we all adore you!

Anonymous said...

very touching Tiffany! it's like the saying 'home is where the heart is'...this world could feel more like home, if everyone's heart is in it! have a good day :)

Jen Weisser said...

Fantastic post! I feel the same way when we bring Ethan to AI duPont in Delaware & when we stay at the Ronald McDonald house while we are there. It's amazing that no one stares or asks about him (besides "normal" questions.

Greene Family said...

Love this post! I feel the same way when Simon goes to Hopkins. It is so comforting to be in a place where everyone accepts everyone for who they are - no questions asked.
We will be thinking of you all this summer and praying that everything goes smoothly with Sawyer's surgery! I'm always amazed at how quickly young kids bounce back from surgery.
Enjoy seeing all of the dreams in blessings in front of you! You are amazing!
Can't wait to see the messenger bags in person! You are very talented!

Kim said...

I got a little teary reading this. It's like when I see Preston playing with the other kids at school. They don't see his size anymore-they just see Preston-he's Preston. They know him no other way. I am sure life is going to kick him obstacles, but his self esteem and support system will help. I am hoping the children of today are the ones that pave the way-help the injustices go by the wayside.

I also just got caught up on all your other posts. The bunk beds are the coolest! The quilts are awesome. I can't wait to see the whole room! Also I am the person who keeps everything in order-everything dusted and scrubbed, dishes put away. But it's exhausting and I realize I need to slow down and spend less time on that and more time tripping over puzzle pieces.