Sunday, October 2, 2011

My NOT so average life

     On his second day of school, Ruger informed me that he doesn't want to wear his hearing aids because other people will see them and ask about them.
     I said, "Did somebody ask about them yesterday?"
     He responds, "Yes. A boy asked me what they were."
     I asked, "What did you say?"
     He said, "I just told him that they were my hearing aids."
     I thought to myself for a minute, knowing that I needed to be very careful with my words. I then explained to him that it's ok if people ask about his hearing aids. They're only asking because they don't know or they don't understand. If they tease you or make fun of you then that's different and you need to tell them to stop.
     He said, "OK."
     The next day he wore his hearing aids and his teacher took a few minutes to explain to the class what they were and why he wore them. Since then he's had no issues with wearing them.

     One week later:
     I'm picking Sawyer up from preschool. He was looking a little down (really rare for him) and so I asked, "How was your day?"
     He said, "A boy in my class was teasing me."
     I asked, "What did he say?"
     He replies, "I can't tell you." (Code for he can't remember)
     "Well what did your teacher say?"
     "She told him to stop. She said, stop teasing Sawyer!"
     I said, "Well that's good."
     He says, "Yeah." (We're big on one word answers over here)
     He went on and on the whole afternoon about this boy at school that teased him. But he couldn't tell me why he teased him. So later when my husband got home from work I asked him if he thought I'd be crazy to email the teacher and ask what happened.
     He said he would think I was crazy. :) He also said that it seemed as though the teacher had already taken care of the issue and that she'd let me know if there was something to worry about. And do you know that it took every fiber of my being to not email the teacher? I wasn't wanting to be a helicopter parent, I just wanted to know. Are those two the same thing? Yes? Ok, fine. Whatever.
     So why am I writing all of this? I don't really know. Therapy I guess. I've been worried about my kids a lot lately. I can't help but feel as their mother, that I've given them these trials and so now I feel like I should carry their burdens. But then I watch them every day after their few hours at school and I see how happy they are. I see that they have made friends and that they are learning and absorbing at an incredible pace and so they must be ok? They're not coming home in tears. They want to go back. I'm not getting calls from their teachers (not yet anyway) and Sawyer now plays with the boy who teased him. So it's ok. Right? They will have hard times. People will misunderstand them because of their differences, but they will work it out. I think I've taught them to do that. Or at least I hope I have. It seems like this whole school thing is a determining factor in whether I've taught them enough or not. I guess we will see. :)


Lee and Roni Poston said...

U r a great mom! And u need to take your own advice. Kids just tease because they don't understand. I'm sure there were just questions and the teacher took care of it. I wouldn't worry. Just be glad your kids remember enough of their day to tell u they got teased. I'm lucky if mine can tell me what happened on the way home from the bus stop. Lol :)

shareenspace said...

Too thin, too fat, too short, too tall, big ears, little ears, & the list goes on. The school office would be flooded if every mother stepped in. It's our first inclination, isn't it? You are a great example to your kids-just keep listening & talking. I love you!

Ashley said...

They're lucky to have you as a mom. If anything you'll teach them how to be strong.

Destini said...

Great answer to Ruger about the hearing aides. I tell Trace that a lot, it's okay if people ask, just tell them and go on with life. Questions are fine, teasing is not. Love your kids, and you are a great mom! Oh,and I totally would have emailed the teacher :)

Laurel Stimpson said...

I am deaf and I have had everything you can have seen in schools. One thing that has been very helpful in raising better understanding in difference- is having an "Awareness day". Students all try out being something for day . . Whatever it may be- deaf (plugging ears), blind (blindfolded), physical disability (wheelchair or crutches), and much more. It truly helped in fostering compassion, empathy in children. The teacher taking time in explaining really helped. When we talk about something in public, we get the impression that it is not something to be embarrassed or ashamed about.

Jennifer said...

I've started following you blog and I'm so
appreciative for everyone sharing their experiences. We received a diagnosis of skeletal dysplasia for our baby that we are expecting about a month ago. My world began to spin because I ha no idea what I was going to be dealing with. Again, thank you for posting your experiences. As a mom it's hard to know how to handle certain situations. I have two boys already and I'm always concerned if they get their feeling hurt for anything...that's being a mom. As a kindergarten teacher I have to say I wouldn't have minded the email at all. It's phone calls from parents that take up so much time...especially during the school day. Emails are easy to answer on the teacher's time. In the future...ask away!


Shelley Eggett said...

I haven't been to your blog forever. It is so fun to read. You are a good writer! Your kids are adorable, and congrats on your sweet baby girl. It's so hard to be a Mom and watch your kids go things that you just want to protect them from. I imagine it will only get harder as our kids get older. Anyways, it was fun to catch up on your blog.

Chris Wooten said...

Well you are a mommy and it is not easy to not worry about the babies