Rejection, it's for everyone.

I remember a creative writing course I took in college where authors came in to talk about their careers. Jack Weyland came in and spoke about submitting your work and then facing rejection. He had a 4" binder that he dropped right there on the table in front of us (smack!) and he said, "These are all of the rejection letters I've received." I remember my eyes growing big as I pondered the years of writing he must have submitted to be awarded such a novel of rejections. And that was basically all he said in his speech other than reading a few of the letters aloud.

On January 1, 2015, I decided to be brave in a whole lot of aspects and I was going to get everything I've ever wanted for myself this year. This plan was in perfect motion, until a couple of weeks ago when I began experiencing all sorts of rejection. My whole world felt as though it had all gone to crap and I sat huddled up in a little ball sobbing next to my husband, complaining about all of the things I want being ridiculously hard to get.

My sob session goes back as far as 1996 when I decided that I just wanted to grow. I simply wanted a few inches and there was only ONE way to get that. I couldn't have it easy like the rest of high school where they just wake up one morning 6" taller. Nope! I had to have my legs lengthened by a stretching method discovered in RUSSIA. Where they surgically break every single bone with a hammer and chisel and then they drill 12" pins through one side of your leg and right out the other for the whole world to see. And then magically three years later I'm 6" taller! Whyyy does life have to be so hard??? (Jason loves that I always bring my hardships back to the one event that I feel was so absolutely unfair in life.)

So now when I want something, I feel that I have every right to lay my plan out and say, "OK, everything else is hard (like carrying children, reaching the salad dressing in the grocery aisle, shoe shopping etc.) so THIS one little thing that I want should be easy! But it never is. It really never is. And the easier I want it to be, the harder it is!

Rejection. The almost-worst thing in life. It's for every size. Every flavor. Every style. Every color. Every temperament. Ev-er-y-one. It's like a bad cough medicine. Every four hours you know it's coming and even if you hold your breath, you still find yourself jumping up and down in the bathroom, squinting your eyes and spitting out every last drop that lingers in your mouth. You can't escape it because you need it and you have to have it, even though you don't want it. It will never get easier, but maybe it gets better because you learn that the faster you take it, the faster you'll forget about it. Choke down the cough syrup so you can enjoy the next four hours.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, I'm back on my feet, and things are looking up, except when they're not. ;) I think rejection is necessary. It makes you decide just how much you want something and gives you a reason to power through. Take note, that even the amazing people in the world like Jack Weyland are faced with rejection. It is indeed for everyone.

Find Your Lula 2014

     This past year has been hard...to say the least. Business has been rough, my mind has been lost and all of my creativity has felt incomplete. This has rubbed off into my personal life as well. I won't go into details, because I'm sure it's happened to all of you in one way or another. I didn't know what to do. I would walk circles in my studio not knowing where to start, or if any of it was even worth it. Especially when comparing myself to other designers, I felt like I couldn't make the cut (BTW, don't EVER do that!).
     Last year I had thought a lot about attending Lula, but I didn't. Because it cost money. I felt like that was selfish. Then again, this year I thought the same thing. But my husband (the good man that he is) said, "You should go!" And I said, "OK!"
     I packed my bags and headed to Park City. I knew a few of the people from Quilt Market, but not very well and I was mortified. You know, like first day of high school mortified. What if everyone thinks I'm a loser and doesn't talk to me? What if I have to eat by myself? What if I don't catch on in class and they all roll their eyes at me? What if Pink Fig thinks my business is lame or what if the shop owners stop buying my patterns because I'm so crazy? SELFISH THOUGHTS!
     So about 15 minutes into the retreat I realized that this just wasn't going to be scary at all. This was a very safe place, where we could express our emotions and our struggles and everyone pitched in to lift us up. Everyone had stories JUST LIKE MINE! They had fears and struggles just like I did and we together as a team were there for each other. We built each other up and at the same time we had teachers who were so incredibly SELFLESS with their skills and taught us so many secrets and talents that we really need for our careers. We had cooks and staff there to make sure we were eating so well and keeping our minds and bodies alert and happy! There were designers, authors, a magazine owner, and Amanda Herring who were there to lead us and guide us! They helped us find a new beginning for our paths and now via the internet we are all able to keep in touch and continue to feel inspired and be supportive!
     I have to blog about this, not just to tell you all about it, but to remind myself next year, to go again! THIS WAS SO WORTH IT! Don't just go for the amazing gifts/swag (because OH MY WORD...THE SWAG!!!) or the fancy dining or the great classes, go for the lifetime of new friendships, the support, love, and inspiration from others just like YOU! Just go to find yourself all over again.